Well anyone who follows genetic research news as closely as I do has heard about the recent stem cell break through. We no longer need abortions to get stem cells, which is a downer for dashing renegade scientists who like the prestige of their research being kept down by “the man.” Analysts speculate that such rebel biologists will have to learn to ride motorcycles to maintain their peer reviewed journal street cred(ibility).
They can now turn skin cells into stem cells, which means skin just went way up in value on the medical waste market. Geneticists are searching through plastic surgeon’s dumpsters like hobos or indie soap makers. Those wishing to sell their skin should hurry before a megalomaniacal super-villain releases a flesh eating virus to corner the market on skin. I don’t know if our new blonde Bond-shell can stop him; somebody give Sean Connery a gun.
The Skin-to-Stem™ process is probably very sciency and boring, but in layman’s terms they “turn back the clock.” In layman’s terms a “clock” is a “time circle.” But if they can do this with individual cells, how long before they can do it with our whole bodies? Reverse aging, all you need to do is save up enough skin to equal your body mass, then win the lottery a couple times and presto; instant youth.
So now instead of spending your entire life saving for retirement, you spend your entire life saving for your Youthanizing™, only to spend a whole new life working and saving for the same thing. So what was once a spiral, is now a circle. With the price tag you’ll have pick one, have a kid, or stay young…or…clone yourself, and raise the clone; talk about growing up to be just like your parents. You could give your clone all the things you never had, as long as you have them now.
In addition to the possibilities for curing disease and cancer, we can look forward to, designer babies, chimeras and super powers. Now that I’ll be able to choose my genetic makeup, why not have some fun. My eyes are sensitive to visible light because of my genes, so first on the agenda is heat vision. Also, I’ll need speed healing like Wolverine. While we’re at it, adamantium skeleton, but for that I’ll need Magneto’s powers too. This is getting expensive, I’d better get some midichlorians just in case.
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