Herbert Filby Productions » Articles

DIY Foam Companion Cube 2.0

Herbert Filby — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 05:15:27 +0000

There are a ton of fan-made Companion Cubes from Portal 1 on the net, but I never really saw any of the new Companion Cube in Portal 2, so I made one out of foam.

Bates Ultra-Lite 8″ Side-zip Tactical Boots Review

Herbert Filby — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 05:01:54 +0000

With winter fast approaching, I find myself going through the yearly ritual of pulling out my snow gear, and preparing for the coming cold. I’ve got the spark plugs changed on my car, got my heavy coats on, and I just slapped another coat of shoe shine on my boots. I’ve had these boots for about three years now, and wear them most of the year, sometimes alternating with a pair of sneakers. When searching for boots, there are several key features that you want to look for before committing to a purchase, because good boots are expensive, and rightly so, because if you take care of them, you can get a lot of life out of them.

Men’s Bates® Ultra-Lite 8″ Side-zip Tactical Boots

The key features you are looking for when looking for a heavy duty boot include:

Having a side-zipper will enable you to quickly put on or remove the boots, but will not be as water proof as a boot without a side zip
Being in warmer climates, you may want to find boots that absorb moisture (called “wicking”)
Find boots with removable insoles… This will give you the ability to replace them when they are worn out, and/or buy high quality insoles to make them more comfortable
Having a steel toe will help prevent injuries but you may want to consider non-metallic composite toe inserts to prevent your shoes from setting off metal detectors
Keep your boot leather polished and shined to help make it last longer
Replace your laces when they become frayed to prevent breakage
Replace your insoles when they start to wear out for comfort. I’ve had mine for three years and I’m thinking they are due for a change.

Above all else, make sure to go to a store where you can try the boots on… You can find boots cheaper online, but you definitely want to make sure that you pick the right size. In my experience, boots tend to be about one size larger than what I’m used to wearing because they are taking into consideration that you may want to wear two pairs of socks (wool and cotton). I usually buy size 12 sneakers, but my boots are actually size 11′s and they fit me perfectly.

Getting Ready for Halloween

Herbert Filby — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 17:45:55 +0000

Halloween isn’t for another few weeks, but now is the time to start preparing your costumes before all the good ones are picked over.

Check out the Halloween costumes on Amazon if you’re too lazy to come up with one of your own.

Here are some guidelines to follow when brainstorming costumes this year.
Click the image below for the full size version:

The Pursuit of Time

Herbert Filby — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 21:13:17 +0000

On my way to class this afternoon, I realized that I had forgotten something. With only five minutes left to get from the far end of the parking lot into the classroom, I had no time to remember what it was. And at that very moment, in that very thought, I realized what I lacked: Time herself. I picked up my pace, remembering the days when I actually had the chance to embrace and caress Time. Holding her in my arms, relaxing. Not now though. Always gone when I need her, Time has once again eluded me. She is not very reliable.

I first discovered Time in my youth, though I did not yet know her very well. We became acquainted much later, during my high school years. In those days, we wiled away the hours playing video games, reading, watching television… Oh! So many hours… Gone forever. It wasn’t until I started college that we became more intimate. I learned to appreciate her when she was near, and I felt all the more empty when she wasn’t. I began to obsess over her. Stalking her, I would watch her movements constantly. I was mesmerized by her slow but steady pace. She was all that mattered to me.

As my college years flew by, I noticed that Time and I seemed to have a bit of a falling out. Her visits became less and less frequent. In my most dire times of need, for exams, for homework, or even just getting from one place to another, I found myself alone and always in a hurry. Oh! how I wish I could capture Time, like an elusive genie; letting her out when I need her the most, and sticking her back in her bottle to save her from the dull moments in Life. Alas, Time is a free spirit and comes and goes as she pleases.

I saw her this afternoon, as I was rushing to my class. Though I only saw her from the back, the features were unmistakable; her luscious flowing hair, her long legs, her dainty feet, her fair hands. It surely was her. I quickened my pace to catch up, but no matter how fast I walked, even with her slow, steady, sensuous gait, I could not catch up to her. She entered the building I was headed for, and was lost in the crowd. Totally out of breath and heartbroken, I gathered my strength and climbed to the top of the stairs, and entered my class. Amazingly, I was two minutes early, thanks to her.

I saw her, much later, in another building. She was sitting on guy’s lap, whispering into his ear and giggling. The ignorant sod, with a dull look in his eye, promptly put his hat over his face, and fell asleep. She stayed with him, and twiddled with his hair. I felt a sudden surge of hate throughout my body. “That bastard,” I thought, “doesn’t appreciate Time, yet he has all the Time in the world.” And then I thought better of it, and instead thought “Time, you are a slut,” and I walked to my car.

The effects of reading H.P. Lovecraft after having cake and Mountain Dew for breakfast

Herbert Filby — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 00:44:57 +0000

I shall never forget the horrors I realized one late November morning when, in my youthful ignorance, I consumed a rich piece of chocolate cake followed by a round of soda, which was meant to keep me awake for my 9:00 A.M. class. Among the known effects of caffeine, one of the more potent is that of acting as a natural laxative by increasing stomach acids and relaxing the muscles of the colon. To these facts, I had no knowledge at the time, but soon found myself experiencing them in earnest. The class was an hour and a half lecture, discussing various authors of the 20th century. On that particular day, H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Call of Cthulhu” was the topic of interest. Little did I know that I was about to experience more maddening events than even the mind of Lovecraft could fathom.

With only ten minutes before the class was let out, I began to feel a slight rumbling of my stomach, and immediately realized that some unholy terrors were en route. Indeed, the demonic breakfast truly kept me awake, for I feared that if I failed to hold back the floodgates, a torrent of hellspawn would be released upon the lecture hall. Time began to slow down towards the final five minutes of the class, which is bad enough when one doesn’t have a small steam engine rushing through his intestines. My vision began to blur, and tears came to my eyes. After what seemed like an eternity, class was dismissed, and sighed greatly, knowing full well that I had saved all those people from complete annihilation. Oh, but the impending danger had not yet been cleared. Far from it. I had to make my way to the bathroom, or the government would be after me for exercising above-ground nuclear weapons testing.

I stumbled towards the bathrooms, but with such a feeling of pain in my stomach, I couldn’t see more than a foot in front of me. Finally, with great effort, I found the door, and found an open stall. Luckily there was no one in there, and I quickly began the process that can only be described as “uncorking the champagne.”

I was just finishing off the bottle, when I heard the door of the bathroom burst open, and the sound of scuffling feet enter the stall next to me. Words cannot describe the following, but I can say that the noises coming from the stall next to me shook me to my very core. My little stomach attack was but a fart in the wind compared to the downright Evil, green decay-stench coming from the next stall. The sound can only be described as a jackhammer pounding the left leg on a medium sized panda. I could visibly see the heat coming off of the wall of the adjoining stall, which was now glowing red. The toilet paper in the dispenser burst into flames, and the lights began to flicker. Green gas started flowing out from underneath, so that I had to pull my legs up over my head to keep from them melting the skin off the bone. The smell, oh God in heaven THE SMELL! It was all I could do to keep my sanity from shattering!

After an incalculable amount of time, the earthquake began to subside (though not without some slight tremors). The scuffling feet moved out through the newly formed hole in the wall, and faded off into the distance. I sat there for some time, not moving, for the shock had sent me into a delirium. Finally, after much mental strain, I managed to get to my feet, and stumble out through the stall door. Most of the smoke had cleared thanks to the newly formed hole in the opposite wall where the detonation had taken place). It wasn’t till I finally looked around when I noticed the lack of urinals in the bathroom. Upon leaving through the door, I looked up at the sign and noticed that I had, in fact, been in the WOMAN’S BATHROOM! I’ve heard that bad things can happen at certain times of the month, but from that day forward, I had a newfound respect and fear of those members of the opposite sex.