In 2003, the Paradox Simulator v.1 was released on the Internet. After nearly a decade, Herbert Filby Productions has finally decided to shake off the virtual dust from the the original source code, and produce a remake with new features and better graphics. The new version will feature 2.5D isometric graphics, and will run with a simple point-and-click interface.

The original purpose of the Paradox Simulator was to create a simple application that mimicked the possible problems that may arise if time travel is ever discovered. The alpha version of Paradox Simulator was written in QBasic, and ran in MS-DOS. On modern machines, it is quite buggy and at this time does not work.

A screenshot of the original source code being written in QBasic

The Paradox Simulator (version 1) circa 2002

In the first version of Paradox Simulator, the player controlled a small dot on the screen, and had the ability to move forward and backwards in time at will. Jumping back in the past resulted in seeing your previous self moving around on the screen. After multiple jumps, the game area quickly became crowded. If the user bumped into a past-self, the game would simply end and warn the user of the dangers of time travel.

Here are some of the hopeful improvements scheduled for the new version, Paradox Simulator 2011:

• Better graphics (obviously!)
• Sound/music
• Interacting with your past self will alter the timeline. This will open up infinite possibilities and repercussions
• Optional puzzle mode that test and boggle the mind’s ability to think in 4 dimensions

Stay tuned for future updates, time travelers.

How does Herbert Filby wake up in the morning?

Double fisting two mugs of ALL-AMERICAN JUSTICE.

*Mugs made in China.

Yes, I was so underwhelmed when I got this sandwich I decided to post an article about it.

I got an email from Arby’s today announcing their new Angus sub (pictured above), and I thought it looked tasty. The email newsletter came with a coupon for free curly fries and a drink, so I said “meh, what the hell.” I bought the sandwich.

Let me describe for you its physical properties. Starting at the top you have a nice soft and fluffy top layer of bread. After that, you have a sort of quasi-dip-like spread that had the consistency of coagulated ranch dressing. [edit] I just looked it up, and apparently this layer of spread is parmesan peppercorn ranch sauce[/edit]. This spread soaked into the top layer of the bun and made that part of the bread soggy. Then you have the layer of bacon that predominates the flavor of the sandwich. I honestly didn’t even taste the beef part until almost half way through the sandwich just because the bacon was so overpowering. The beef itself was rather salty, and is apparently rubbed with onion and garlic powder. That, combined with the smokey bacon and peppercorn spread, gives this sandwich a gentle kick to your senses. Then you have a layer of some sort of white cheese. Next, instead of seeing  the yellow cheese as it shows in the original marketing photograph, the cook decided to put the yellow cheese on the bottom layer, by the bread. Now,  I can see maybe they added the layer of cheese on the bottom to prevent the roast beef’s juices from making the bottom layer of bread soggy, but for whatever reason, it failed. The bottom layer of bread was damned soggy. It was as if they dipped it in that French dip juice before bagging it for me.

Now, more importantly, the flavor. I can accept an ugly sandwich as long as it tastes good, and this one wasn’t bad. Like I said, the bacon took hold of my tastebuds like a long-lost lover, and the faux Ranch dressing added just enough of an accent that it helped, but the whole thing was too salty/peppery. Taking a bite was difficult just because the crispy bacon was harder to chew through than the rest of the soggy sandwich. I was expecting another layer of melted cheese as well, but I guess the top layer of parmesan peppercorn ranch sauce counts as a cheese, even though the marketing picture shows what looks like Monterey Jack cheese on the bottom…

My recommendation: Make sure you use a coupon for the free curly fries and drink. You’ll need the drink to counter-act the effects of salt and pepper overdose.

Overall review:

5/10 for presentation

6/10 for flavor

Cost: $4.99

Nutrition summary: (source: http://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/arbys/angus-three-cheese-and-bacon-sub)

I started this comic in Feb. 2006, and it was circulated in a local college newspaper for most of its life. The season 2 finale took place in an independent humor magazine published by my friend Jerry Pohl.

It was a good run, but I graduated and no longer had time to work on it, and thus, sadly, the comic ended rather abruptly.

— Click Here to View the Slideshow —

On my way to class this afternoon, I realized that I had forgotten something. With only five minutes left to get from the far end of the parking lot into the classroom, I had no time to remember what it was. And at that very moment, in that very thought, I realized what I lacked: Time herself. …Continue Reading